YA GO A LITTLE NUTS!
by Earth Queen
Summary: Someone's hyped up on sugar...So funny! Please read and review! Oh, and as you read, please imagine Benny Hill's music in the background to add to the comical insanity of it all.


This is another one-shot story. It's B.E.N.'s sugar high! Okay, I know some of you might not find it unusual, but so what? I just _had_ to write this! There will be some lines and recreated quotes you may recognize. Lots of laughs! Enjoy!

**YA GO A LITTLE NUTS!!**

Plainly and simply, the Admiral Benbow Inn was pretty crowded this morning. Fortunately, it was being well managed.

While Sarah Hawkins and B.E.N. were busy preparing food in the kitchen, Morph floated nearby, examining the different ingredients on the shelves that lined the walls and neighbored the cabinets. He happened upon an open glass bowl of billions of tiny, white particles. Taking a closer look, the little blob of protoplasm could smell a strongly sweet fragrance wafting from the particles. Curiosity took over and Morph's tongue picked up some of the tiny particles, taking a taste.

Just as B.E.N. walked out with two trays full of breakfast orders, Sarah noticed what Morph was doing. She watched in bewilderment as Morph was transforming in and out of random shapes, whooping out, "WOOT! WOOT! WEEEE!"

"Morph?" said Sarah, "you didn't taste _sugar_, did you?"

"Sugar! Sugar, sugar, sugar! Sugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugar! SUGAR!" Morph shrieked with a huge pair of smiling lips as he literally bounced off the walls. As he did, he knocked into the sugar bowl. Most of the sugar spilled out and into the open nozzle of a can of petroleum.

Sarah chased Morph around the room, soon catching him and calming him down. "Never again," she said, holding the blob in her hand.

She made her way out with a full tray just as B.E.N. came back in with an empty tray…and an empty stomach. His eyes quickly fell upon the open can of oil on the kitchen counter. "Finally, I can indulge in my can of pure, black petroleum. Straight up," he said to himself with a laugh. Picking up the can, he didn't notice the bits of sugar scattered around the top. The black liquid gushed from the open nozzle and down the robot's throat, and he swallowed, licking his metal lips. "Mmm. That's good stuff."

Just then, B.E.N.'s face twisted with a jerk, his body tingling all over, especially his tongue. He felt a strange fizzy sensation bubble up in his electronic innards. "_Mm!_" he exclaimed through a closed mouth. "That's an odd taste." He looked closely at the can, scratching the top of his head in thought. "Must be a new flavor. Kinda tastes…sugary."

Without warning, the oilcan dropping from his hand, B.E.N. 's eyes shot wide and seemed to possess more of a contrast in their color, and his entire body froze still and erect. His face bore a deadpan expression for a moment. Slowly, a huge, crazed grin appeared on his face. Like the sound of a roll of film fast-forwarding at incredible velocity, the little robot sped up like never before.

"AH-_HAAA! WOOT! WOOT! WEEEE! WHATAGREATDAY! IT'SAGLORIOUSDAY! IKNOWWHATDAYITIS!! _It's _CAKE DAY!!!_"

B.E.N. came bursting through the kitchen door, showing the whole dining room his crazed grin. Everyone turned and looked at him as he began to dance around the tables, singing out loud, "I feel pretty…oh, so pretty…I feel pretty and witty and _gayyyyyy!_"

Jim immediately took notice and hung his head in his hand with a groan. "Oh, no…and I thought he'd lost it before…but this is ridiculous."

"Hey, Jimmy! Youlikeyams? Iloveyams! Yams! Yamsyamsyams! Yamsyamsyamsyamsyams!" B.E.N. cried out crazily as he came up to Jim's face. "Oooh! Whataboutwaffles? Ilikewaffles! Doyoulikewaffles? Waffles, waffleswaffleswaffles! Hey! GuesswhatJimmy? _It's CAKE DAY!!_"

"B.E.N.! Snap out of it!" Jim shouted, slapping B.E.N. across the face and causing his head to spin. "Have you completely lost it?"

"Ooh…" the robot moaned when his head spun back into place, but Jim's attempt failed. "_WHATAGREATDAY! IT'SAGLORIOUSDAY! IKNOWWHATDAYITIS!! _It's _CAKE DAY!!!_" And he went off again, blurting out whatever came to mind. "HAHAHAHAHA_HA!_ _It's CAKE DAY!!! CAKE DAY, CAKE DAY, CAKE DAY!!_"

Dumbfounded, Jim could only watch.

"Tra-la-la-la-la…spring is in the air, and I'm a flower," B.E.N. recited, twirling around daintily off to the side of the dining room, "with nothing interesting to say…_It's CAKE DAY!!!_"

Delbert Doppler was sitting in his usual seat by the holo-window. B.E.N.'s haphazard rambling was drawing a lot of attention. Doppler looked at the robot, confused. "Uh…Sarah?" he said as Sarah came over. "Have you noticed—?"

"Yes, I have," replied Sarah. "Has he always acted this way?"

"I'm not sure. He's always seemed somewhat out of sorts before Jim retrieved his memory circuit. Other than that, I don't believe he has _ever_ been _this_…what's the word?"

"Crazy?"

"Yes. I wonder what is causing his behavior?" Just then, they saw B.E.N. begin to do something he'd never done before. "Oh, dear."

"What's he doing?" Sarah wanted to know.

"It appears he is…eating a guest's breakfast…and…plate."

"What?" Sarah was almost shocked to be witnessing B.E.N.'s behavior. Clearly, he could be seen gobbling up a plate full of lunar eclipses and spheroids…the plate included. The sound of clinking and crunching glass could be heard as B.E.N. ground it between his teeth and gulped it down. Sarah rushed to the robot. "B.E.N.! B.E.N.! Stop!"

Unfortunately, the contents of the breakfast both had sugar as an ingredient. B.E.N.'s smile grew bigger as he stood there, letting his arms fall limps after he had consumed the pastries while the customer complained. Then, he yelled out, "_YeeeeHAAAAWWW!_" At one point, his voice became an octave higher as if he'd just swallowed helium. "_BOYTHAT'SGREATSTUFF! THAT'STHEGREATESTSTUFFINTHEWHOLEWORLD! THEYREALLYSHOULDMAKEMORE! MAKEMORE! MAKEMOREANDMORENADMORE!!!_" Then his voice went back to normal."_IT'S CAKE DAY!!!_"

Sarah came up behind B.E.N. and attempted to grab him. "B.E.N.! What in the world has gotten into you?"

Just then, B.E.N. spotted a tall stack of pancakes, which was topped with a good amount of powdered sugar and syrup. "Oooh! That'sabigstackofpancakes! Ilikepancakes! _Pancakes!_" Before Sarah was able to stop him, he dove for the table where the pancakes lay. People cried in alarm as they got out of the way and B.E.N. landed on the table, gulping down the entire stack, including the plate. "_IT'S CAKE DAY!!!_"

He moved on to the next table, wolfing down anything with sugar as an ingredient. He ate a whole, big slice of cheesecake, downed three glasses of chocolate milk, a full platter of chocolate chip muffins and scones, two huge pies—one cherry and one apple—and an entire peach cobbler. "_WOW! THAT'SGREATSTUFF! WHEREDOTHEYMAKEALLTHISGREATSTUFF? COMEON! GETMETHERECIPESTOALLTHISGREATSTUFF! IT'S CAKE DAY!!!"_

"B.E.N.! What are you doing?" Jim demanded.

The next thing B.E.N. did was stand up on a table and twirl around as if he were wearing a dress. "Look at me! I'm the prettiest girl at the Harvest Moon Ball!" Then he began to sing out once again. "_OOHHHH!_ If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! _EVERYBODY!_"

"Ugh, this is very embarrassing. How do we stop him, Mom?"

"I don't know, Jim," Sarah admitted, unable to think of anything to do.

"Daisy…Daisy…give me your answer—" B.E.N. continued in song. But then, he spotted a dozen cookies and dove for them. "_MOREOFTHEGREATSTUFF!_"He dumped the cookies into his mouth and gulped them down. "_IT'S CAKE DAY!!!_"

"B.E.N.! That's enough! Stop!" Jim ran for the robot and made the effort to grab him and pull him down from the table. But B.E.N. unknowingly avoided Jim by prancing onto another table, singing out loud, "What do ya do with a drunken spacer, early in the morrrrning! Take it, Jimmy!"

Jim mumbled with an exasperated groan, "What do you do with a drunken _robot_ early in the morning?"

"Look at me! I can fly!" B.E.N. took a jump from the table, flapping his arms in midair, but he dropped to the floor. Then, he shot back up as if he hadn't fallen at all. "_WOWTHATWASGREAT! THAT'STHEGREATESTTHINGINTHEWHOLEWORLD! IT'S CAKE DAY!!!_" As he said this, B.E.N. sped out of the dining room and into the kitchen.

Sarah watched with utter worry. "Oh, no," she said, fearing the worst and called, "Jim!"

"I'm on it, Mom." Jim was already on his way after the frenzied robot. When he arrived in the kitchen, he stopped to witness what B.E.N. was doing next. He was rapidly consuming even more sugar-based foods, not meant for robots. It amazed Jim that B.E.N. was able to eat so much in so little time without stopping for a break. "B.E.N.! Stop it right now!" Jim moved in to put a halt to B.E.N.'s behavior, but the robot proved difficult to catch because of his constant and speedy scampering around the room, eating anything he found sugary and leaving a cluttered trail in his wake.

"_PURPITY-PURP-PURPSODAPOP! SWEETCANDYCORNORANGE!_" And B.E.N. instantly downed a whole jug of purp juice and orange juice, both in seconds. "_BLUEBERRYLIMECHERRY!_" And he devoured three entire packages of different flavored tarts, each package containing twelve tarts. "_WOWTHAT'SGREATSTUFF! WHEREDOTHEYMAKEALLTHATGREATSTUFF? THAT'STHEGREATESTMOSTFANTASTICSTUFFINTHEWHOLEENTIREWORLD! IT'S CAKE DAY!!!_" Then, he spotted the same sugar bowl Morph had knocked over. Apparently, it still contained enough sugar to give someone a headache. "_OOOHH! MOREGREATSTUFF!_" He quickly licked up every last bit in the bowl and finished by bursting out the door, screaming with his big, crazy smile, "_GUESS WHAT EVERYBODY? IT'S CAKE DAY!!!_"

"B.E.N.! Cut the act and calm down already!" Jim cried, exhausted from the chase. "For crying out loud!"

"_IT'S CAKE DAY!!!_"

Just then, without warning, B.E.N. stopped. His expression changed immediately from his crazed grin to a blank stare, his mouth opened a little. He stood erect for a moment in a manner that gave him the appearance of shock. Jim, Morph, Sarah, Doppler, and everyone else in the dining room turned their attention to him without a word.

"Uh…B.E.N.?" Doppler tried cautiously.

As soon as the moment passed, the robot's face and soon his whole body twitched with sparks crawling all over his torso and he blurted out in a cry, "Aaaahhh! Overload! Overload! _S_-_su-sugar overload!_"

"Sugar overload?" Jim repeated in question.

"_Danger, Will Robinson! Danger! Sugar overload!_" B.E.N. shuddered and jerked multiple times. At last, his eyes showed total black, his whole body froze, and he tipped over, falling face up on the floor, out cold. Everyone gasped at the sight.

"B.E.N.!" Jim came rushing to the robot's side and attempted to wake him up by shaking him. "Come on, B.E.N., wake up! B.E.N., come on!" He tried slapping him across the face. Nothing seemed to work. He put a hand to B.E.N.'s chest and felt a faint heartbeat (he is a _living_ robot, after all). He was able to relax, knowing B.E.N. was still alive. Sarah, Doppler, and a few other people joined him around the unconscious B.E.N. "Let's get him up into his room," Jim said, lifting B.E.N.'s limp body up and over his shoulder and carrying him upstairs, putting the robot in his own room, on his bed.

Jim and Doppler later investigated the now messy kitchen, trying to find anything that might have had anything to do with B.E.N.'s behavior. "He said 'sugar overload,'" said Jim, "whatever that means."

"Simple, Jim," Doppler stated. "It merely means he had an over consumption of sugar."

"But B.E.N.'s a robot. He doesn't eat sugar. Although he did eat up half the inn's breakfasts and then some."

"What about this can of petroleum?" Doppler pointed to something on the kitchen floor, a can with the nozzle opened.

"You mean that oilcan? B.E.N. was gonna have that this morning." Jim picked up the can to closely examine it. He was surprised to find bits of sugar left on the nozzle. Then, he thought about the sugar bowl B.E.N. had licked up. Why was it knocked over on the shelf? Then, he remembered Sarah telling him about how Morph went berserk and knocked over the sugar bowl. Perhaps she never noticed just where the sugar had spilled. He put two and two together and explained what he knew to Doppler.

"Goodness!" Doppler exclaimed. "The sugar must have spilled into the can that B.E.N. had opened and he had no idea what had happened and freely drank the sugar-filled petroleum."

"That's the best explanation _I_ can come up with."

Jim, Morph, Sarah, and Doppler stepped into B.E.N.'s room a few minutes later, making certain that he was all right. He still lay unconscious on his bed. Finally, he began to come around. He opened his eyes with a tired groan and put a hand to his head. "B.E.N.?" queried Sarah. "You all right?"

"Oh, my head," B.E.N. uttered and yawned. "Where am I?" He looked towards his friends as they sat there beside him with concerned expressions. "Jimmy? Doc? Mrs. H.? Morph?" he smiled and sat up in bed. "Hey there, guys!"

"Thank goodness," said Sarah, exhaling for relief. "We were worried about you, B.E.N."

"Yeah. You okay?" Jim wanted to know.

"You okay?" Morph mimicked, just as concerned.

"Me? I can't quite remember. What happened?" Poor B.E.N. then felt a filling pain in his middle and wrapped his hands around it miserably. "Ohhh…why do I have a bad tummy ache?" he moaned, feeling an uncomfortable grumbling in his electronic digestive unit. A small belch erupted from his throat and he quickly covered his mouth.

"Well," Doppler began to explain, "Jim and I suspected that you consumed an excessive amount of—"

"We'll just say you overate and conked out," Jim quickly put in, cutting Doppler off.

"You should get some rest," Sarah suggested.

"Yeah. Maybe you're right," B.E.N. agreed. Then he thought. "Hey, once my tummy ache's gone, ya think I could have that new flavor of petroleum? It tastes awfully sweet and sugary."

"_No!_" everyone else cried in unison.

The End

—

That just proves what too much sugar can do to you.

So? So? Sooooo? What did you think? Was it funny? Did you laugh? Send me a review already! Please? Thank you!


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